Remember when you thought compassionate conservatism wasn't an oxymoron, Condoleeza Rice was "brilliant," and black was white? And who can forget We are all Israelis? We're talking, of course, about the last six years, when you were, you know, under. Well, thanks to recent events in Israel and Lebanon, you've had your wake-up call, and now you're awake. There's nothing like a round of phosphorus-laden mega-bombs (even thousands of miles away, hitting somebody else) to rouse a person. The question is, what do you do about it? What do you do when the ultimate unwelcome guest — Señor Armageddon — comes a callin'?

To address this pesky problem, your pals at Bright Lights have taken a leaf from R. Crumb's too-timely comic, Despair: "Why dwell on it? Let's have a party!" Or in this case, "Let's go to the movies!" The BL movie-party commences at our clean ‘n cozy new multiplex, on the fourth level below the triple-reinforced steel and concrete bunker where we spend so much time now. All 32 screens are lighting up the darkness as we speak, to keep readers as distracted and, well, under, as possible. Think of us as your tour guide to those cinematic otherworlds that make life in the Great Satan (and the rest of the planet) tol'able.

Associate editor Alan Vanneman leads the way with a tsunami of divertissements, taking readers down another tributary of the mighty river that is Charlie Chaplin, as well as on scintillating stopovers at such recent films as The Devil Wears Prada, Don Giovanni, Da Vinci Code, District B-13, Mission Impossible III, and Comedy Central's Pam Anderson Roast. Fabulous associate editor Megan Ratner weighs in on a quartet of important late works: Caché, The Child, Paradise Now, and 13 Tzameti. Other recent films getting BL's "every movie's special!" treatment include Woody Allen's Match Point by the infamous Jake Horsley; Altman's Prairie Home Companion done by both the celebrated Page Laws and the endearing Dan Callahan; Lucile Hadzihalilovic's Innocence by the enchanting Ian Johnston; Al Gore's1 An Inconvenient Truth by the forthright Jayson Harsin; and last, but unquestionably not least, an excursion into Mooladé, Together, and other globally minded works by the captivating D. J. M. Saunders. For those looking for more abstract destinations, there's plucky Michael Betancourt's survey of the hand-painted films (based on graffiti) of Rey Parla.

Looking backward, as we so often do now, desperately, takes us to Ian Johnston on Antonioni's anti-noir Cronaca di un amore; the lovely Victoria Large on Kelly & Donen's It's Always Fair Weather and Kathryn Bigelow's Near Dark; two Fassbinders (Querelle by the upstanding Frank Episale and Fear of Fear by the provocative Justin Vicari); and a look-see at the cinematography doc Visions of Life by the charming Richard Armstrong. Here too are visits to Bad Lieutenant by the pithy Brian Grady; Hour of the Wolf by the redoubtable Gordon Thomas; the Rita Hayworth cult and the joys of Holiday and The Razor's Edge by the effervescent Lesley Chow; Jean-Pierre Melville's disturbingly relevant Army of Shadows by the thoughtful A. Jay Adler. The estimable Andrew Hedden takes our hand for a dumpster dive into a rediscovered "classic," The Garbage Pail Kids Movie.

Because communication is so important as we careen toward hell (without the useful handbasket that so often accompanies the trip), we offer three interviews: Scott "Superstar" Thill (of Morphizm fame) chatting with Michel Gondry; the rightly named Damien Love schmoozing with Burt Young; and the clever Damon Smith yakking with Korean cause celebre Park Chan-wook. Speaking of Korea, the knowledgeable Bo-Myung Seo explores the Korean film component of this year's New York Asian Film Festival.

The (bright) lights go dim with the return of yours truly's "Little Stabs of Happiness (and Horror)." Good night, and good luck!