We know you’re uptight — nervous — bitter — and why not? The world’s a mess and, X to the contrary, it isn’t in his kiss. (We know; we kissed him.) But we can help. Bright Lights has always considered itself a panacea for the world’s problems. If you can’t do anything about a situation, we say, read a popular-academic hybrid online film zine! It’s always worked for us, and never more than in these bone-rattling times. In this issue we offer a tasty selection of palliatives that should help even the grimmest reader lose the blues, if not lunch. The satin ‘n platinum world of Astaire-Rogers is just a mouse-click away, as are rampaging French women; David Lynch’s psycho-tour of Mulholland Drive; Italy’s "ignorant fairies"; the troubled Toons of Roger Rabbit; American cinematic imperialism; and the seizure-inducing mix of Boy Scouts, pup tents, and Clifton Webb.

Jumping from the (features) foyer to the fire, hardy souls — all right, readers bored with the rest of the site — will find goremeister Herschell Gordon Lewis in interview, the bloody Japanese psychokiller flick Audition, and a bunch of preternaturally well-adjusted San Francisco trannies. A new section of Bright Lights, the Temple of Alternative Video Kulture, gives Richard Kern’s transgressive teenflicks a whirl and puts a slew of music subcult-based docs under BL’s compound eye. Two worthy film fests with barely pronounceable names — Cinemayaat and Qfilmistan — join the parade.

Our ever-expanding — okay, bloated — video section is a veritable world tour of classic world cinema, including masters like Buñuel, Rene Clair, Bergman, Sirk, and Paradjanov and endearing oddities such as The Fall of the House of Usher and Dixiana, as well as a provocative biography of Sven Nykvist and the gruesome "artistry" of Adolf Hitler. Two not unrelated book reviews — on westerns and John Ford — and a very unrelated one on John Waters diva Divine wrap it up. There now. As the B-52’s so aptly put it in "Lava," "Say, don’ choo feel lot better now huh?"